Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
