I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
