The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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