a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
