Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
