don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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