we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you never un-have a 4some
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
