Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
