But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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