I hate your face
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
