he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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