what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
