I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
