I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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