I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
