I don't usually arrange sex via text message
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
