And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
