Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
