I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
