I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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