Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
