i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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