dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my poor anus
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
