all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
