Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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