That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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