Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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