even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
