I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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