A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
