what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i dont even know how to be here
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
