Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
