You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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