Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm at about main and main street
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
