We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
