Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
