It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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