Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
