I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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