can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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