if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
