I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
