pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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