remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
