my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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