Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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