She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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