Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
