i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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