Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
