my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
