i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
